Recently, Rebecca VanDoodewaard, wife of professor Bill VanDoodewaard (at PRTS), blogged here about the questions women are faced throughout their married life.
Such questions like:
- Are you pregnant?
- Do you guys have a hard time getting pregnant?
- How many kids do you want?
- Is this one a surprise?
- Why don’t you guys have (more) kids?
Now I know that the person asking the question(s) could
be asking because they see you are worried about something, or that you
don't feel good, or simply because something in their mind seems to
'push' them into asking such questions. I understand that motive. Recently when I was going through my miscarriage I was asked if I was
pregnant. No one knew about my being pregnant let alone the miscarriage
and I felt maybe it was the Lord putting that thought into their mind to
ask me. I ended up sharing with this dear friend the trial Ian and I
were going through. The next day, she called me up and encouraged me in
the Lord. Because of her asking me, I was able to share my struggle with
someone who went through one herself and even had mentored someone who
struggled with miscarriages. It became a blessing to me.
These questions asked can ultimately hurt people especially since it is done unintentionally. Many don't realize the struggle some may have with even becoming pregnant. I asked the question to a friend a while back who (without my knowledge) was struggling with getting pregnant. Now I know the pain I could have caused if I had asked her right out loud instead of whispering it in her ear. I feel this issue should be addressed even if the motive is right. Yes, sometimes GOD puts into our path questions we need to face that hurt. Sometimes we need to face those questions to help us handle our pain and grief by sharing it with others.
I hope and pray that if you are faced with one of these questions you will be able to find the positive side to them and are encouraged with the prayers of others going through the same struggles.
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