10 Things Most Americans Don’t Know About America

This is from an article I read recently, the writer is very raunchy in his language so I decided to change the choice of words but still felt it necessary to post on the blog. He may be a bit over the edge in his opinion but there is still truth in each point.
See if you agree with him on any point pertaining to America or any other country struggling with these issues.

We don’t really get perspective on what’s close to us until we spend time away from it. Just like you didn’t realize the weird quirks and nuances of your family until you left and spent time with others, the same is true for country and culture. You often don’t see what’s wrong or different about your country and culture until you step outside of it.

 Here are the 10 things:

1. Few People Are Impressed By Us

Unless you’re speaking with a real estate agent, chances are they’re not going to be excited that you’re American. It’s not some badge of honor we get to parade around. Yes, we had Steve Jobs and Thomas Edison, but unless you actually are Steve Jobs or Thomas Edison (which is unlikely) then most people around the world are simply not going to care. There are exceptions of course.
As Americans, we’re brought up our entire lives being taught that we’re the best, we did everything first and that the rest of the world follows our lead. Not only is this not true, but people get irritated when you bring it to their country with you. So don’t.

He has a point... Ian mentioned to me a time when someone asked him "So what do you guys think about us Americans?" It isn't like they are sitting on their couch every day wondering what Americans are doing right now, or what Americans would think "if I did this or that". (which comes out in point #2)

2. Few People Hate Us

Despite the occasional eye-rolling, and complete inability to understand why anyone would vote for one president or another, people from other countries don’t hate us either. In fact — and I know this is a really sobering realization for us — most people in the world don’t really think about us or care about us. I know, that sounds absurd, especially with CNN and Fox News showing the same 20 angry Arab men on repeat for ten years straight. But unless we’re invading someone’s country or threatening to invade someone’s country (which is likely), then there’s a 99.99% chance they don’t care about us. Just like we rarely think about the people in Bolivia or Mongolia, most people don’t think about us much. They have jobs, kids, house payments — you know, those things called lives — to worry about. Kind of like us.
Americans tend to assume that the rest of the world either loves us or hates us. The fact is, most people feel neither. Most people don’t think much about us.

3. We Know Nothing About The Rest Of The World

For all of our talk about being global leaders and how everyone follows us, we don’t seem to know much about our supposed “followers.” They often have completely different takes on history than we do. Here were some brain-stumpers for me: the Vietnamese believe the Vietnam War was about China (not us), Hitler was primarily defeated by Russia (not us), Native Americans were wiped out largely by disease and plague (not us), and the American Revolution was “won” because the British cared more about beating France (not us). Notice a running theme here? (Hint: It’s not all about us.)
We did not invent democracy. We didn’t even invent modern democracy. There were parliamentary systems in England and other parts of Europe over a hundred years before we created government. In a recent survey of young Americans , 63% could not find Iraq on a map (despite being at war with them), and 54% did not know Sudan was a country in Africa. Yet, somehow we’re positive that everyone else looks up to us.

4. We Are Poor At Expressing Gratitude And Affection

Latin and some European cultures describe us as “cold” and “passionless” and for good reason. In our social lives we don’t say what we mean and we don’t mean what we say.
In our culture, appreciation and affection are implied rather than spoken outright. Two guy friends call each other names to reinforce their friendship; men and women tease and make fun of each other to imply interest. Feelings are almost never shared openly and freely. Consumer culture has cheapened our language of gratitude. Something like, “It’s so good to see you” is empty now because it’s expected and heard from everybody.
In dating, when I find a woman attractive, I almost always walk right up to her and tell her that a) I wanted to meet her, and b) she’s beautiful. In America, women usually get incredibly nervous and confused when I do this. They’ll make jokes to defuse the situation or sometimes ask me if I’m part of a TV show or something playing a prank. Even when they’re interested and go on dates with me, they get a bit disoriented when I’m so blunt with my interest. Whereas, in almost every other culture approaching women this way is met with a confident smile and a “Thank you.”

5. The Quality of Life For The Average American Is Not That Great

If you’re extremely talented or intelligent, the US is probably the best place in the world to live. The system is stacked heavily to allow people of talent and advantage to rise to the top quickly.
The problem with the US is that everyone thinks they are of talent and advantage. As John Steinbeck famously said, the problem with poor Americans is that “they don’t believe they’re poor, but rather temporarily embarrassed millionaires.” It’s this culture of self-delusion that allows America to continue to innovate and churn out new industry more than anyone else in the world. But this shared delusion also unfortunately keeps perpetuating large social inequalities and the quality of life for the average citizen lower than most other developed countries. It’s the price we pay to maintain our growth and economic dominance.
In my Guide to Wealth, I defined being wealthy as, “Having the freedom to maximize one’s life experiences.” In those terms, despite the average American having more material wealth than citizens of most other countries (more cars, bigger houses, nicer televisions), their overall quality of life suffers in my opinion. American people on average work more hours with less vacation, spend more time commuting every day, and are saddled with over $10,000 of debt. That’s a lot of time spent working and buying things and little time or disposable income for relationships, activities or new experiences.

 This is what I have caught myself doing to others from different countries. Just because we are America doesn't mean we have things better than: Great Britain, Italy, Dubai, etc.

6. The Rest Of The World Is Not Slum-Ridden Compared To Us

In 2010, I got into a taxi in Bangkok to take me to a new six-story cineplex. It was accessible by metro, but I chose a taxi instead. On the seat in front of me was a sign with a wifi password. Wait, what? I asked the driver if he had wifi in his taxi. He flashed a huge smile. The squat Thai man, with his pidgin English, explained that he had installed it himself. He then turned on his new sound system and disco lights. His taxi instantly became a cheesy nightclub on wheels… with free wifi.
If there’s one constant in my travels over the past three years, it has been that almost every place I’ve visited (especially in Asia and South America) is much nicer and safer than I expected it to be. Singapore is pristine. Hong Kong makes Manhattan look like a suburb. My neighborhood in Colombia is nicer than the one I lived in in Boston (and cheaper).
As Americans, we have this naïve assumption that people all over the world are struggling and way behind us. They’re not. Sweden and South Korea have more advanced high speed internet networks. Japan has the most advanced trains and transportation systems. Norwegians make more money. The biggest and most advanced plane in the world is flown out of Singapore. The tallest buildings in the world are now in Dubai and Shanghai. Meanwhile, the US has the highest incarceration rate in the world.
What’s so surprising about the world is how unsurprising most of it is. I spent a week with some local guys in Cambodia. You know what their biggest concerns were? Paying for school, getting to work on time, and what their friends were saying about them. In Brazil, people have debt problems, hate getting stuck in traffic and complain about their overbearing mothers. Every country thinks they have the worst drivers. Every country thinks their weather is unpredictable. The world becomes, err… predictable. 

This next one he has a point... yes there is crime and sex trafficking going on in other countries (and if you were a female you would have to be really cautious), but that isn't everyone in every city in every country..

7. We’re Paranoid

Not only are we emotionally insecure as a culture, but I’ve come to realize how paranoid we are about our physical security. You don’t have to watch Fox News or CNN for more than 10 minutes to hear about how our drinking water is going to kill us, our neighbor is going to rape our children, some terrorist in Yemen is going to kill us because we didn’t torture him, Mexicans are going to kill us, or some virus from a bird is going to kill us. There’s a reason we have more guns than people.
In the US, security trumps everything, even liberty. We’re paranoid.
I’ve probably been to 10 countries now that friends and family back home told me explicitly not to go because someone was going to kill me, kidnap me, stab me, rob me, rape me, sell me into sex trade, give me HIV, or whatever else. None of that has happened. I’ve never been robbed and I’ve walked through some of the worst parts of Asia, Latin America and Eastern Europe.
In fact, the experience has been the opposite. In countries like Russia, Colombia or Guatemala, people were so friendly it actually scared me. Some stranger in a bar would invite me to his house for a bar-b-que with his family, a random person on the street would offer to show me around and give me directions to a store I was trying to find. My American instincts were always that, “Wait, this guy is going to try to rob me or kill me,” but they never did. They were just insanely friendly.

 8. We’re Status-Obsessed And Seek Attention

I’ve noticed that the way we Americans communicate is usually designed to create a lot of attention and hype. Again, I think this is a product of our consumer culture: the belief that something isn’t worthwhile or important unless it’s perceived to be the best (BEST EVER!!!) or unless it gets a lot of attention (see: every reality-television show ever made).
This is why Americans have a peculiar habit of thinking everything is “totally awesome,” and even the most mundane activities were “the best thing ever!” It’s the unconscious drive we share for importance and significance, this unmentioned belief, socially beaten into us since birth that if we’re not the best at something, then we don’t matter.
We’re status-obsessed. Our culture is built around achievement, production and being exceptional. Therefore comparing ourselves and attempting to out-do one another has infiltrated our social relationships as well. Who can slam the most beers first? Who can get reservations at the best restaurant? Who knows the promoter to the club? Who dated a girl on the cheerleading squad? Socializing becomes objectified and turned into a competition. And if you’re not winning, the implication is that you are not important and no one will like you.

9. We Are Very Unhealthy

Unless you have cancer or something equally dire, the health care system in the US isn't good. The World Health Organization ranked the US 37th in the world for health care, despite the fact that we spend the most per capita by a large margin.
The hospitals are nicer in Asia (with European-educated doctors and nurses) and cost a tenth as much. Something as routine as a vaccination costs multiple hundreds of dollars in the US and less than $10 in Colombia. And before you make fun of Colombian hospitals, Colombia is 28th in the world on that WHO list, nine spots higher than us.
A routine STD test that can run you over $200 in the US is free in many countries to anyone, citizen or not. My health insurance the past year? $65 a month. Why? Because I live outside of the US. An American guy I met living in Buenos Aires got knee surgery on his ACL that would have cost $10,000 in the US… for free.
But this isn’t really getting into the real problems of our health. Our food is killing us. I’m not going to go crazy with the details, but we eat chemically-laced crap because it’s cheaper and tastes better (profit, profit). Our portion sizes are absurd (more profit). And we’re by far the most prescribed nation in the world AND our drugs cost five to ten times more than they do even in Canada (ohhhhhhh, profit!).
In terms of life expectancy , despite being the richest country in the world, we come in a paltry 38th. Right behind Cuba, Malta and the United Arab Emirates, and slightly ahead of Slovenia, Kuwait and Uruguay. Enjoy your Big Mac.

10. We Mistake Comfort For Happiness

The United States is a country built on the exaltation of economic growth and personal ingenuity. Small businesses and constant growth are celebrated and supported above all else — above affordable health care, above respectable education, above everything. Americans believe it’s your responsibility to take care of yourself and make something of yourself, not the state’s, not your community’s, not even your friend’s or family’s in some instances.
Comfort sells easier than happiness. Comfort is easy. It requires no effort and no work. Happiness takes effort. It requires being proactive, confronting fears, facing difficult situations, and having unpleasant conversations.
Comfort equals sales. We’ve been sold comfort for generations and for generations we bought: bigger houses, separated further and further out into the suburbs; bigger TV’s, more movies, and take-out. The American public is becoming docile and complacent. We’re obese and entitled. When we travel, we look for giant hotels that will insulate us and pamper us rather than for legitimate cultural experiences that may challenge our perspectives or help us grow as individuals.
Depression and anxiety disorders are soaring within the US. Our inability to confront anything unpleasant around us has not only created a national sense of entitlement, but it’s disconnected us from what actually drives happiness: relationships, unique experiences, feeling self-validated, achieving personal goals. It’s easier to watch a NASCAR race on television and tweet about it than to actually get out and try something new with a friend.
Unfortunately, a by-product of our massive commercial success is that we’re able to avoid the necessary emotional struggles of life in lieu of easy superficial pleasures.
Throughout history, every dominant civilization eventually collapsed because it became TOO successful. What made it powerful and unique grows out of proportion and consumes its society. I think this is true for American society. We’re complacent, entitled and unhealthy. My generation is the first generation of Americans who will be worse off than their parents, economically, physically and emotionally. And this is not due to a lack of resources, to a lack of education or to a lack of ingenuity. It’s corruption and complacency. The corruption from the massive industries that control our government’s policies, and the fat complacency of the people to sit around and let it happen.
There are things I love about my country. I don’t hate the US and I still return to it a few times a year. But I think the greatest flaw of American culture is our blind self-absorption. In the past it only hurt other countries. But now it’s starting to hurt ourselves.
So this is my lecture...I imagine it’ll fall on deaf ears, but it’s the most I can do for now.
 All credit goes to Mark Manson (in his article/blog post)

So, now that you have read the whole thing.. what do you think? I don't agree with all that he says but he does have a point in most of these "10 things". I think this is important to read not only thinking about America, but also about ourselves and our reaction to our neighbor. When was the last time we put someone else first? Have we recently considered the importance of someone else's spiritual state as well as our own? Or do we think we are so important, we come first in everything. We are so special to be brought up in the truth and in a Godly family, we forget to share this truth with others who are "less fortunate". We have our faith, our church, our doctrine, our friends, our witness... but have we shared any of it with others who don't have even one of these positives? 

A challenge for all of us... try to think outside of ourselves for once.... try to witness to the person sitting next to us at work or on the train, the bus.. anywhere.

The Garden

This year I have great ideas for the garden. In fact, I plan to have a vegetable garden as well! So to get started.. I had to prep the ground (the ground in our yard is terrible for growing things!) There was hardly any top soil laid down when I bought the house so I needed to do that myself. 

Here is the "vegetable garden" area. I have been trying to do a compost there through out the winter so there is some good nutrients in the soil by the time I plant the veggies.

Next, I started my own little plants in the house. I took old egg cartons (that can decompose in the ground) and planted different seeds into each carton. Right now I have peas, yellow beans, and sweat peppers growing... 

.....you can see the little sprouts already peaking through the soil!

Some pictures of the back garden.. just starting to bloom. This was taken right before the huge rain fall we had last week! 

The purple Hyacinth was first to bloom. 

More to come on the garden, I have strawberries, blueberries, carrots, watermelon, beets and a few flowers to plant yet!

My Sibling I Never Acknowledged

Interesting title isn't it? It caught my attention as well and so I read the blog post. 

The post was about someone whose mother had a miscarriage before her two daughters. She was 6 weeks pregnant. So many people today don't even think about miscarriages, that the child is... just that... a child. You may acknowledge at the time you were pregnant with a baby, but once death occurs it seems people don't mention they did have a child but that child has now passed away. If life begins at conception then why don't we share with others when our "child" passes away? If we share with others when our "born breathing" children pass away, why shouldn't we share when our "still in womb, but breathing" children pass away.

Something good to think about... Here is the post if you want to read it all yourself. 

Florida

A couple weeks ago, Ian had the privilege of preaching in a church in Florida. The members of the church consists of people from the HRC, NRC and FRC churches here in Grand Rapids. These people go down to Florida every year during the winter months. Someone unexpectedly paid for my ticket so we could take 6 days to relax and recharge.

View from our car as we drove to our hotel

 

We found a small present in our hotel room..... I figured it was for Ian... just in case he forgot his tie for Sunday, they provided a nice bow tie as a spare! :)

The beach we visited.... Siesta Key... the number one beach in America! It doesn't look like it in this picture, but here were a lot of people there! This was taken just as we stepped onto the beach from the car lot. if you look closely you can see all the beach umbrellas and people closer to the water.

 

 At the botanical gardens in Sarasota

Can you spot the little lizard? 

Now can you spot him?

We went on Saturday to check out the place where the church service was to be held, it was at a Salvation Army building which was right next to a park, so we took a walk as well. We ended up 'tanning' ourselves more from these walks than from sitting out in the sun at our hotel!

Pelicans floating close to shore and close to the people on the beach

 

This guy seemed to follow us as we walked along the beach

Temperature the day we left for home: 82 degrees F!! It was hard to leave!

 Ian with our luggage and our rental car right before we handed over the keys at the airport. What a beautiful day!

 

A big thank you to those who made this trip possible for both of us!

What we must do before abortion is illegal

I know, I know, the title doesn't seem to make sense. But if you read this article I just read about abortion and what we must do before abortion is illegal in the US, you just might agree with me!

The author talks about all the problems we have in our country with how kids are raised:

"As long as teenagers are encouraged to believe that they are mature enough to have sex, that sex is “no big deal,” that being promiscuous is cool, that birth control pills are harmless and fail-safe, and that condoms make all your problems go away, we are going to keep seeing unplanned pregnancies."

She is blunt and completely accurate. How do we tell the young people to stop doing what they have been taught is OK all along?

"We can never stop all unplanned pregnancies from happening. Human nature is what it is; people fail to live up to standards every day. But the first and essential step is having standards. As a society, we simply don’t anymore. Mothers put their 15-year-old daughters on the pill and buy them Ke$ha CDs."

Trust me, I don't want know what Ke$ha CD's she is referring to, but I have a sense of what she is talking about. Just go to the mall, the movies, downtown at night. IT is all there for our eyes to see if we just LOOK.

"There has to be a paradigm shift. We need to begin to make young women understand that being slutty is not synonymous with being cool, funny, and smart. We need to show them that in today’s culture, not rebelling against traditional morality is the truly rebellious thing."

And this is so important in a young girls life (and even in the young boys lives):

 "And it’s a chain reaction: those young women will raise strong daughters whose daddies showed them enough love that they don’t need to give anyone a lap dance to feel worthy, and whose mothers showed them enough discipline that they can tell boys “no” without feeling like the world is going to end."

"Speaking of which: the media is our greatest enemy in this fight for the minds and hearts of youth. Being promiscuous, dumb, and reckless is easy, flashy, fun, and on every single channel. New media is the key to getting our message across. And we have to do it now. There is no time to waste. I saw a roughly 11-year-old girl the other day walking around at the mall wearing a Playboy bunny T-shirt. That, ladies and gentlemen, is what you call rock bottom."

One more quote from her article:

"There is hope for the younger generations. We have to lead by example among our peers and those who look up to us. We have to show them that leaving behind ego and instant gratification doesn’t mean leaving behind your brain or your sense of fun."

If you want to read the whole article, click here. But keep in mind she is honest and blunt.  

 

15 Things To Stop Doing To Yourself (And Your Children!)

A good blog post to read! Even though we have not been blessed with children in this world, I still feel it is necessary to remind myself of such important guidelines I someday will be able to follow.

1. Stop blaming yourself for mistakes. You had a bad day, you made a decision you regret, you shouted at your children and feel terrible now. Stop sitting in the guilt and move on-wards and upwards. Apologize, wipe the slate clean and start again.

2. Stop worrying about the future and what will happen. Will they be smart, happy, healthy? The truth is, there is no way of knowing what will come your way. So stop worrying and get back in the now!

3. Stop comparing your family to someone else. That mum is not better than you, her children are not better than yours. They are just different. Look at yourself and your children as individuals and celebrate each one of you – just as you are!

4. Stop thinking you need the latest gadget, toy or holiday… you don’t, they don’t. Happiness is not found in the things we buy, or the things we own. It is the simple things that really matter.

5. Stop holding a grudge. You've had a bad moment, they have broken your favorite cup, whatever it is, it’s done, gone, in the past. Sulking, shouting or complaining won’t bring it back so don’t waste your time. Let it go, take a breath and find a way to laugh.

6. Stop forgetting to communicate. Just stop what you are doing, make eye contact, talk and above of all, listen.

7. Stop forgetting to savor those tiny moments that make it all worthwhile.There are so many, and you are missing them. Soak them up and enjoy those cuddles, those conversations, seeing your child discover something new as they explore the world with you by their side. Enjoy it.

8. Stop putting unimportant tasks first. Stop putting housework, busy work, and things that don’t matter in the grand scheme of things, ahead of taking the time to sit and cuddle and read a few stories with your child.

9. Stop trying to rush their childhood away. Weaning, sleeping through the night, learning to read… it’s all so exciting, but no more than what is happening right now, stop and pay attention!

10. Stop forgoing your own dreams. Being a parent doesn’t mean giving up on your passions. Find a way to live your dreams, and include your children on your journey. Having a thriving and vibrant role model will be nothing but beneficial to them.

11. Stop striving for perfection – it’s impossible and you’re wasting your time. Being a good parent is not about being perfect all the time, it’s about learning from your mistakes and deciding to act differently next time.

12. Stop accepting the rules of society without question. Do your own research, challenge what feels wrong to you, throw away the rules and make your own. Let your children do the same! 

13. Stop trying to push them to be independent before they’re ready. The cuddles, the wanting to be with you, in your arms, comforted and reassured – these things are not a sign of weakness. Let go and relax in to it. Enjoy it. When they have had their needs met fully, they will branch out on their own to claim their independence, and you will have a hoard of wonderful memories to cherish.

14. Stop letting others tell you that you are doing it all wrong. Be confident in your choices and don’t feel that you have to explain yourself to the naysayers if you don’t want to.

15. Stop making a mountain out of a molehill. Accidents happen, they are rarely as catastrophic as we make out. Stop crying over spilled milk.

If you want to read the whole blog post, click here.