How am I doing?

Many have asked how we are doing, or more specifically how am I doing?

I am doing good, in fact, I am doing great! I have my health to be thankful for and my loving husband who supports me in what ever I do. 

Since the miscarriage, my outlook on life, especially infant life has changed. Once upon a time I felt angry at those who used birth control because they didn't want to have a baby when it wasn't convenient for them. I felt they should trust God to take care of them if He did bless them with a child. I also felt that if God wanted them to become pregnant while the wife was on birth control He would make her pregnant while on the pill. This was before Ian and I were married. 

Now my outlook on pregnancy has completely changed. When I found out I was pregnant, I felt like a miracle had happened. Especially when friends of ours (who were not blessed with kids) were is awe at the pregnancy even more than we were. In their eyes, they had tried the 20 years they were married and it never happened. So when they see others who are blessed with a pregnancy and even a healthy born child, it is like a double miracle to them. That image has been passed on to me. Now I think of pregnancy as an amazing gift from God. Yes it can be difficult and there will be trials to overcome, but the gift given to us from the Lord to take care of and to raise up in the fear of the Lord in this evil and corrupt world is such a blessing. That HE chose me or you to become the parents of the next generation to live in this world and how you raise up that child will make a difference in how that child reacts to the evils of this world. 

Now to mention miscarriages, what if there were a certain number of babies that were predestined to go straight from the mother's womb to heaven. And what if God felt in His great wisdom to use me or you (if you have experienced this) to be the carrier of this blessed child from the start of life in the womb to life everlasting in heaven. Well you say, we don't know if the child is in heaven or not. True, but seeing as Ian and I are born into the covenant, so our children will be born into the covenant. And from that we draw the comfort of believing our child is in heaven already. What an accomplishment!! What a joy to know that the greatest burden on a mother and father's heart has been taken away from us because we were used as 'vehicles' for bringing one of God's beloved children into glory. 

As much as we still grieve over the loss of a child we so anticipated holding in our arms, we also rejoice over the comfort of knowing God has all things under control and His will is to be done no matter what. 

"He doeth according to HIS will in heaven and on earth, and none can stay His hand or say unto Him 'what doest thou?'" Daniel 4: 35